My documentary class basically attacked me on Monday (there are only 3 people in the class besides me, the TA and the instructor) when I talked to them about my project plans. This is a project I haven't even executed. Apparently you can't make documentary work about why black people don't really play rock music anymore (even if the intent is to open up a discussion...which it did...a fucking hour long discussion). Because we will exploit black people. Because we are generalizing black people. Because the definition of rock music is vague (no shit), because we're stereotyping people, and because Lenny Kravitz is a black person who plays rock music so our discussion is supposedly invalid. The best part is that it's not even my project, it's my friend's project and she is black so obviously that matters even though it shouldn't. My intent was to give her new light into the subject, from another perspective seeing as I'm not black, but still a minority. The two black people in the class got into it by telling me everything about their personal experiences with rock music even though they were completely irrelevant, among other weak criticisms to attack me. I told them that they were taking it very personally and were being really defensive because they're black, because they were. I know my fucking place in race, you don't have to belittle me. My instructor took major offense "as a white person" and basically told me to change my project.

I have to vent here because I'm pissed. Major props to the 34 year old woman who said she was in the underground music scene of Philly therefore she knows all about rock music and racial profiling. Try living in the midwest for more than a year.

So now my project is about nailbiting. Because I don't want to fail the class and it's too late to drop.




Hi ----,

I am writing this message to communicate my feelings on the critique received last class. I felt that my project idea was unfairly shot down and criticized on a viciously personal level, which I was overwhelmingly unprepared for. I understand that while I should have been prepared to discuss the issues relating to the subject, I feel that I was perhaps misunderstood, misinterpreted and judged by my obvious vulnerability on the subject of race. The critique itself felt too personal to be in any way constructive - I thought that I would receive advice to further enhance the subject ideas, and all I received were suggestions to change the topic into something completely different, something completely unrelated. The fact that you are asking me to change my project simply because you cannot agree with it is really discouraging. Had I known that was the reaction I was going to receive, I would not have considered taking the course. I took the course almost specifically to learn more about documentary methods and therefore support this documentary my friend has been working on. The fact is, I know that the topic interesting, has a direction and is relevant to our time. I know this because we spent almost an hour discussing my project alone. Our idea was to create an open forum but somehow, this does not work.

However, I have already come up with a new topic as per your request. I will have the summary plans ready for you next class, hoping that it will pass your expectations.

Thank you,

Angie Kang

Thank god for Ruparul's Drag Race online.

Weird things happening. I had a really bad day on Monday which resulted in several panic attacks throughout the day and then the breakdown on the way home when the boy called. Probably the only person to ever handle me in that situation with such ease.

Anyways, I figured out my problem today on the toilet. I'd talk about it but it would bore you. My greatest resolutions have been discovered on the toilet.

Need to get music stuff done with Ash. Need to get shit done with the vintage store with Deb, and to keep pushing my honest opinions with her. Need to buy some wigs this week. I'm embracing my inner drag queen.

I'm relieved to be able to say that this week has only made me a little bit stronger and a lot bitchier.

I pondered aloud in the elevator: Am I going through an identity crisis?
I wasn't alone so everyone looked at me weird. As if they hadn't asked themselves the same question...

Actually, I lied. I said that to Sam.

My instructor is screening Harold and Kumar go to White Castle in my asian identity in film course. I have a crush on the TA, who I'd seen around. I thought she was a boy. It didn't change the babe factor.

I skipped most of the boring part of Christmas and my parents aren't too mad at me for being a failure, which is cool. And they sent the karaoke machine away to get fixed so I'm setting it up for our little Christmas party tomorrow. My stepdad (Dan) keeps implying that it was me who broke it in the first place - when he first said it on Thanksgiving, I abruptly left. I was so annoyed with him. The karaoke machine has brought some excitement back to the holidays for my family...my sister likes when I sing Mariah Carey's We Belong Together. Dan started lightly drinking wine at holidays but the fact that he never drinks anymore gets him immediately buzzed. I can relate. He likes to sing Iggy Pop jams.

His brother's wife hates him so they didn't come this year. Last Christmas he gave her a Cooking for Dummies book which was totally inappropriate because that was her first Christmas with us and I guess she can't cook too well. She was so offended that she just hates him now. We concluded that his brother likes women who have dominating personalities, because this woman is a CEO of some company and very athletic. I'd known his last wife since I was five, but she suddenly left him two years ago. I like Uncle Mark. He let us crash at his place in Texas last summer during SXSW and we sort of bonded in a weird way.

All the family photos in the world are stuck on computers and memory sticks and will never been seen again. Dan is forcing me to go to church tomorrow, which I thought was insane because I thought he was an atheist and I'm sure as hell not Catholic. "I've been Catholic all my life." he said. I asked him is he was having some life-enlightenment moment or something. He did not reply. I asked him if my siblings were going and he said no. I was outraged. It took some poking around but I found out that the real reason he wanted me to go was because we were going to an all-Korean Catholic church and he wanted us to be awkward and out of place together. Because that's how I'm going to feel and he definitely feels that way.

I told him that's all he had to say. "Open up your emotions, Dan."

I can tell he wants to laugh but he can't because he puts up such a front.

I'm going to wear something slutty.

1 - My ex... is irrelevant

2 - Maybe I should... punch people more often

3 - I love... Lum

4 - People would say that i'm... a weirdo

5 - I don't understand... why it has to be so damn cold outside

6 - When i wake up in the morning... i push Lum off my bed and roll over

7 - I lost... my faith in the human race

8 - Life is full of... cute (and ugly) boys

9 - My past is... both funny and sad

10 - I get annoyed when... men have inferiority complexes

11 - Parties are... no fun now that I've stopped drinking

12 - I wish... I could win the lottery

13 - Dogs... are cute but smelly

14 - Cats... breath smells like cat food

15 - Tomorrow... I dread

16 - I have low tolerance... for discomfort

17 - If I had a million dollars... omg

18 - I'm totally terrified... of the future

Muntadar al-Zeidi, a tv correspondent in Baghdad threw his shoes at Bush during a press conference. Let's examine his picture, mid-throw:

Great form, love the look on his face AND the guy sitting next to him who's going "OMG AWKWARD". Too bad he missed. Well, it's probably a good thing he missed because his punishment would have been much more severe. Gawker has the video.

Live Audio/Video Performances
One-night-only exhibition of
live audio/video works ranging from performative media-experiments to
patch-programmable madness.


Right off Damen & Milwaukee

=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=

Live Audio/Video Performances on
Monday, December 8, 2008; 8:30PM
at EN3MY; 1550 N Milwaukee Ave.
FL3
FREE & OPEN

FEATURING:
Alejandra Abad
Colin Adams
Dan Fandino
Adrien Imparato
Angie Kang
Eunkyo Kang (a.k.a Gyoya b.k.a E.K)
Bubs Lumetta
Adrean Mangiardi
Jorge Minano Ramirez
Nina Rukavchenko
Aaron Zarzutzki

http://crabsandlobsters.net

Labels: show

My writing teacher told me I'm going to fail if I don't do a bunch of shit I already did. What. The. Fuck. One of the worst classes I've ever had. I'll be SO PISSED if I fail.

I liked the Britney Spears documentary. I had chinese food but I felt like dying after. Only my cat unconditionally loves me, but even then I'm not so sure.

Everybody told me just to have fun, cuz I'm young, but I can't have fun if I'm always depressed. I'm annoying myself. I don't think I'm young or old enough to do anything so it feels like sitting in lim-bo. My horrible dreams aren't making it any better.

My nightmare last night involved two or three extremely long pubic hairs.